Monday, January 13, 2014

Free Online Therapy - links to expert information http://www.talktala.com/therapy/Kristen?ns&gclid=CPPiqNaW_LsCFWMV7AodqBoADg

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How to Conduct FREE Legal Research Online: 2013 ABA Annual Meeting


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Thursday, January 9, 2014

Professional Resources & Professional Organizations


http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state.php?state_code=FL

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/tasks/sites/ofw/assets/links/professional-resources.html

Information and resources for professionals. Sorted by subject matter to make finding resources easy.

Family law blogs (79)
Law Schools (23)
Professional organizations (122)


Professional organizations for family law professionals



KidsWatch parental control software:
your fastest and easiest solution to safeguard your
children's' Internet experience and maximize the
efficiency of the time they spend on the computer.
Now, you can set computer usage time limits, by
child, ensuring homework is a priority to:
  • Internet chats, including Instant messaging
  • YouTube, Facebook and Myspace Web Visits
  • Online Gaming and Gaming Software Downloads
  • Music Downloads
KidsWatch is much more than the best-rated time management solution. It is loaded and preloaded with many optional benefits and features that improve the security and the quality of the Internet your children see. Installing KidsWatch on your computer is customizing the Internet, by child, the way you want your kids to experience it.
Other Resources:
ADL Hate Filter - Anti-Defamation League Hate Filter
Netnanny - Net Nanny
X-Stop - X-Stop

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Reporting Trouble Online

CyberTipline - Hotline if you have information on a missing child.
Department of Justice Online - U.S. Department of Justice Online - Information on the U.S. Dept. of Justice.
FBI Parents Online - FBI Online Pamphlet - A Parent's Guide to Internet Safety.
Officer.com - Directory of law enforcement agencies in the U.S. and around the world.
OurMissingChildren - The official Our Missing Children site of Canada.
Suicide Prevention Center - Suicide prevention information.
US ATF - U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) - Information on the ATF.

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Domestic Violence Hotlines and Numbers
Visit the U.S. Department of Justice Violence Against Women Office for information and resources, including government press releases and statements or RAINN the largest anti-sexual assault organization page.

  1. Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence P.O. Box 4762 Montgomery, AL 36101 1-800-650-6522 (state) TTY: 1-800-787-3224 Another State: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  2. Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault 130 Seward Street, Room 209 Juneau, AK 99801 Phone: 907-586-3650 FAX: 907-463-4493 Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  3. Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence 301 E. Bethany Home Rd. Phoenix, AZ 85013 Phone: 602-279-2900 FAX: 602-279-2980 TTY: 602-279-7270 1-800-782-6400 E-mail: acadv@azcadv.org
  4. Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1401 West Capitol Ave, Suite 170 Little Rock AR 72201 Phone: (501) 907-5612 FAX: (501)907-5618 Toll Free: (800)269-4668
  5. Coalition to End Domestic and Sexual Violence 1030 N. Ventra Rd Oxnard, CA 93030 Phone: 805-654-6014 FAX: 805-654-1264 24-Hour Hotline: 805-656-1111 Spanish Hotline: 800-300-2181 TDD: 805-656-4439
  6. Orange County Child Abuse Hotline 714-940-1000
  7. Statewide California Coalition for Battered Women PO Box 19005 Long Beach CA 90807 Toll-Free: 888-SCCBW-52 Phone: 562-981-1202 Fax: 562-981-3202 E-mail: sccbw@sccbw.org
  8. Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence P.O. Box 18902 Denver, CO 80218 TOLL-FREE: 888-778-7091 Phone: 303-831-9632 FAX: 303-832-7067 E-mail: ccadv@ccadv.org
  9. D.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence Domestic Violence Intake Center 500 Indiana Ave NW Superior Court Room 4235 Washington, DC 20001 Phone: 202-879-7851 FAX: 202-387-5684 Hours: 8:30am-4:30pm
  10. Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence 100 W. 10th Street Suite 703 Wilmington, DE 19801 Phone: 302-658-2958 FAX: 302-658-5049 Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
  11. Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence 425 Office Plaza Dr. Tallahassee, FL 32301 TOLL-FREE: 800-500-1119 Phone: 850-425-2749 FAX: 850-425-3091 FL Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-500-1119 FL Domestic Violence Hotline TTY: 1-800-621-4202
  12. Florida Domestic Violence Crisis And Support Resources
  13. Georgia Advocates for Battered Women and Children 250 Georgia Avenue, S.E., Suite 308 Atlanta, GA 30312 TOLL-FREE: 800-334-2836 Phone: 404-524-3847 FAX: 404-524-5959
  14. Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence 716 Umi St., Unit 210 Honolulu, HI 96819 Phone: 808-832-9316 Fax: 808-841-6028 Email: hscadv@pixi.com 24 Hr Shelters (Hawaii..By Island)
  15. Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence 515 28th St Des Moines, IA 50312 TOLL-FREE: 800-942-0333 Phone: 515-244-8028 FAX: 515-244-7417
  16. Idaho Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence 815 Park Blvd, Suite 140 Boise, ID 83712 TOLL-FREE: 888-293-6118 Phone: 208-384-0419 FAX: 208-331-0687 E-mail: jmatshushita@idvsa.org
  17. Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence 801 South 11th Street Springfield, Illinios 62703 Phone: 217-789-2830 FAX: 217-789-1939 TTY: 217-241-0376 E-mail: ilcadv@springnet1.com
  18. Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1915 W. 18th Street Indianapolis, IN 46202 TOLL-FREE: 800-538-3393 Phone: 317-917-3685 Fax 317-917-3695 Crisis Line: 1-800-332-7385
  19. Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence 220 S.W. 33rd, Suite 100 Topeka, KS 66611 TOLL-FREE: 888-END-ABUSE (Kansas state-wide hotline) Phone: 785-232-9784 FAX: 785-266-1874
  20. Kentucky Domestic Violence Association P.O. Box 356 Frankfort, KY 40602 Phone: 502-209-5382 FAX: 502-226-5382
  21. Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence P.O. Box 77308 Baton Rouge, LA 70879-7308 Phone: 225-752-1296 FAX: 225-751-8927
  22. Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence 170 Park St. Bangor, ME 04401 Phone: 207-941-1194 FAX: 207-941-2327 Email: mcedv@mcedv.org
  23. Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence 6911 Laurel Bowie Road, Suite 309 Bowie, MD 20715 TOLL-FREE: 800-MD-HELPS Phone: 301-352-4574 FAX: 301-809-0422
  24. Jane Doe Inc./Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence 14 Beacon Street, Suite 507 Boston, MA 02108 Phone: 617-248-0922 FAX: 617-248-0902 TTY/TDD: 617-263-2200
  25. Bay County Women's Center P.O. Box 1458 Bay City, MI 48706 TOLL-FREE: 800-834-2098 Phone: 517-686-4551 FAX: 517-686-0906 Michigan 24-Hour Crisis Line: 517-265-6776
  26. Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women 450 North Syndicate Street, Suite 122 St. Paul, MN 55104 Metro-Area Hotline: 651-646-0994 Phone: 651-646-6177 FAX: 651-646-1527 E-mail: mcbw@pclink.com
  27. Missouri Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1000-D Northeast Drive Jefferson City, MO 65109 Phone: 573-636-8776 FAX: 573-636-6613
  28. Montana Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence PO Box 818 Helena MT 59624 tel: 406.443.7794 or toll free at 888-404-7794 fax: 406.443.7818
  29. Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition 825 M Street, Suite 404 Lincoln, NE 68508-2253 TOLL-FREE: 800-876-6238 Phone: 402-476-6256 FAX: 402-476-6806
  30. Nevada Network Against Domestic Violence 220 S. Rock Blvd. Ste. 7 Reno , NV 89502 TOLL-FREE: 800-500-1556 Phone: 775-828-1115 FAX: 775-828-9991
  31. New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence P.O. Box 353Concord, NH 03302-0353 TOLL-FREE: 800-852-3388 (in New Hampshire) Helpline: 603-225-9000 (outside of New Hampshire) Phone: 603-224-8893 Fax: 603-228-6096 1-866-644-3574 For a domestic violence center near you 1-800-277-5570 Sexual Assault
  32. New Mexico State Coalition Against Domestic Violence 200 Oak St NE #4 Albuquerque, NM 87106 TOLL-FREE: 800-773-3645 (in New Mexico Only) Legal Helpline: 800-209-DVLH Phone: 505-246-9240 FAX: 505-246-9434 E-mail: nmcadv@nmcadv.org
  33. New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence 350 New Scotland Avenue Albany New York 12208 Phone: 518-482-5465 English: 1-800-942-6906 English TTY: 1-800-818-0656 Spanish: 1-800-942-6908 Spanish TTY: 1-800-780-7660 Email us at nyscadv@nyscadv.org
  34. North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence 123 W. Main Street, Suite 700 Durham , NC 27701 Phone: 919-956-9124 FAX: 919-682-1449 Toll Free: 1-888-232-9124
  35. North Dakota Council on Abused Women's Services State Networking Office 418 East Rosser Avenue, Suite 320 Bismarck, ND 58501 TOLL-FREE: 800-472-2911 (In ND Only) Phone: 701-255-6240 FAX: 701-255-1904
  36. Ohio Domestic Violence Network 4807 Evanswood Drive Suite 201 Columbus , Ohio 43229 (614) 781-9651 (614) 781-9652 Fax (614) 781-9654 TTY E-mail: info@odvn.org
  37. Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault 3815 N. Santa Fe Avenue, Suite 124 Oklahoma City , OK 73118 405-524-0700 telephone 405-524-0711 fax
  38. Oregon Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault 380 Spokane St. Suite 100 Portland , OR 97202 Telephone: 503-230-1951 Fax: 503-230-1973 Statewide Crisis Number: 1-888-235-5333
  39. Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence/National Resource Center on Domestic Violence 6440 Flank Drive, Suite 1300 Harrisburg, PA 17112-2778 TOLL-FREE: 800-932-4632 Phone: 717-545-6400 FAX: 717-545-9456
  40. Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence 422 Post Road, Suite 202 Warwick, RI 02888 TOLL-FREE: 800-494-8100 Phone: 401-467-9940 FAX: 401-467-9943 ricadv@ricadv.org
  41. South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault P.O. Box 7776 Columbia, SC 29202-7776 TOLL-FREE: 800-260-9293 Phone: 803-256-2900 FAX: 803-256-1030
  42. South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault P.O. Box 141 Pierre, SD 57501 TOLL-FREE: 800-572-9196 Phone: 605-945-0869 FAX: 605-945-0870
  43. Tennessee Task Force Against Domestic Violence P.O. Box 120972 Nashville, TN 37212 TOLL-FREE: 800-289-9018 Phone: 615-386-9406 FAX: 615-383-2967
  44. Texas Council on Family Violence P.O. Box 161810 Austin, TX 78716 TOLL-FREE: 800-525-1978 Phone: 512-794-1133 FAX: 512-794-1199
  45. Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault P.O. Box 405 Montpelier, VT 05601 Phone: 802-223-1302 FAX: 802-223-6943 E-mail: vnadvsa@sover.net
  46. Virginians Family Violence and Sexual Assault Hotline 2850 Sandy Bay Road, Suite 101 Williamsburg, VA 23185 TOLL-FREE: 800-838-VADV Phone: 757-221-0990 FAX: 757-229-1553
  47. Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence WSCADV- Olympia Office 101 N. Capitol Way, Suite 103 Olympia, WA 98501 Phone: 360-586-1022 Fax: 360-586-1024 TTY: 360-586-1029
  48. West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence Elk Office Center 4710 Chimney Drive, Suite A Charleston, WV 25302 Phone: 304-965-3552 FAX: 304-965-3572
  49. Manitowoc Domestic Violence Center PO Box 1142 Manitowoc, WI 54220 Phone: 920-684-5770
  50. Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault 409 South 4th Street P.O. Box 236 Laramie, WY 82073 TOLL-FREE: 800-990-3877 Phone: 307-755-5481 FAX: 307-755-5482
  51. YWCA Battered Women Task Force 225 SW 12th St. Topeka, KS 66612 Daytime: 785-354-7927 Evening and Weekend: 785-234-3300 Outside Topeka: 1-888-822-2983
 http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/fldv.shtml

Orange CountyCoalition for the Homeless Victims Program
Counseling Corner
Family Empowerment
Harbor House
LifeLine of Central Florida
Orange County Sheriff Victim Advocate
Orange County Victim Service Center
State Attorney Victim Assistance Program
Univ. of Cent. Florida Victim Services
US Attorney Victim/Witness Services
Victim Service Center
Bay Area Legal Services
Crisis Center of Tampa Bay
Family Justice Center
Harbor Behavioral Care (New Port Richey)
LIFE Center of Tampa
MacDill Air Force Base Family Advocacy
Messenger Ministries (Largo)
The Spring of Tampa Bay
State Attorney Victim Assistance
US Attorney Victim/Witness Services
Univ. of South Florida Victims Advocacy		813-232-1343
813-964-1964
813-935-2015
727-841-4200
813-237-3114
813-827-9172
813-572-0059
813-247-7233
813-272-6472
813-274-6000
813-974-5759








































DV Crisis Program
Gulf Coast Children's Advocacy
Legal Services of N. Florida
Life Management Center (Crisis Counseling)
State Attorney Victim Services (Blountstown)
US Attorney Victim/Witness Services		800-252-2597
850-872-4726
850-385-9007
850-769-9481
850-674-4589
850-444-4000
407-425-2502
407-843-4968
407-317-3202
407-886-2856
407-425-2624
407-254-7000
407-836-9680
407-836-2365
407-823-2425
813-274-6000
407-836-9680


 
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Monday, January 6, 2014

TITLE VI LEGAL MANUAL/III. Title VI/ Applies to "Persons" /XII. Private Right of Action and Individual Relief through Agency Action -http://www.justice.gov/crt/grants_statutes/legalman.php

TITLE VI LEGAL MANUAL

U.S. Department of Justice
Civil Rights Division
P.O. Box 65560
Washington, D.C. 20035-6560

September, 1998

TABLE OF CONTENTS


III. Title VI Applies to "Persons"
Title VI states "no person" shall be discriminated against on the basis of race, color, or national origin. While the courts have not addressed the scope of "person" as that term is used in Title VI, the Supreme Court has addressed this term in the context of challenges brought under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. See, e.g., Plyler v. Doe, 457 U.S. 202 (1982); Mathews v. Diaz, 426 U.S. 67 (1976). The Supreme Court has held that undocumented aliens are considered "persons" under the equal protection and due process clauses of the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. Plyler, supra, 457 U.S. at 210-211; Mathews, supra, 426 U.S. at 77. Since rights protected by Title VI, at a minimum, are analogous to such protections under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments, these cases provide persuasive authority as to the scope of "persons" protected by Title VI. See Guardians Assn. v. Civil Service Commission, 463 U.S. 582 (1983); Regents of the University of California v Bakke, 438 U.S. 265 (1978).(6) Thus, one may assume that Title VI protections are not limited to citizens.
Related to the scope of coverage of Title VI is the issue of standing to challenge program operations as a violation of Title VI. Individuals may bring a cause of action under Title VI if they are excluded from participation in, denied the benefits of, or subjected to discrimination under, any Federal assistance program. See Coalition of Bedford-Stuyvesant Block Association, Inc. v. Cuomo, 651 F. Supp. 1202, 1209 n.2 (E.D.N.Y. 1987; Bryant v. New Jersey Department of Transportation, 1998 WL 133758 (D.N.J.).
 
 
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VI. What is a Recipient?
A. Regulations
A "recipient" receives Federal financial assistance and/or operates a "program or activity," and therefore its conduct is subject to Title VI. All agency Title VI regulations use a similar if not identical definition of "recipient," as follows:
The term recipient means any State, political subdivision of any State, or instrumentality of any State or political subdivision, any public or private agency, institution, or organization, or other entity, or any individual, in any State, to whom Federal financial assistance is extended, directly or through another recipient, for any program, including any successor, assign, or transferee thereof, but such term does not include any ultimate beneficiary under any such program.
The term primary recipient means any recipient which is authorized or required to extend Federal financial assistance to another recipient for the purpose of carrying out a program.
28 CFR § 42.102(f), (g) (emphasis in original).
Several aspects of the plain language of the regulations should be noted. First, a recipient may be a public (e.g., a State, local or municipal agency) or a private entity. Second, Title VI does not apply to the Federal government. Therefore, a Federal agency cannot be considered a "recipient" within the meaning of Title VI. Third, there may be more than one recipient in a program; that is, a primary recipient (e.g., State agency) that transfers or distributes assistance to a subrecipient (local entity) for ultimate distribution to an ultimate beneficiary. Fourth, a recipient also encompasses a successor, transferee, or assignee of the Federal assistance (property or otherwise), under certain circumstances. Fifth, as discussed in detail below, there is a distinction between a recipient and a beneficiary. Finally, although not addressed in the regulations, a recipient may receive Federal assistance either directly from the Federal government or indirectly through a third party, who is not necessarily another recipient. For example, schools are indirect recipients when they accept payments from students who directly receive Federal financial aid.
 
III. Title VI Applies to "Persons"
Title VI states "no person" shall be discriminated against on the basis of race, color, or national origin. While the courts have not addressed the scope of "person" as that term is used in Title VI, the Supreme Court has addressed this term in the context of challenges brought under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. See, e.g., Plyler v. Doe, 457 U.S. 202 (1982); Mathews v. Diaz, 426 U.S. 67 (1976). The Supreme Court has held that undocumented aliens are considered "persons" under the equal protection and due process clauses of the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. Plyler, supra, 457 U.S. at 210-211; Mathews, supra, 426 U.S. at 77. Since rights protected by Title VI, at a minimum, are analogous to such protections under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments, these cases provide persuasive authority as to the scope of "persons" protected by Title VI. See Guardians Assn. v. Civil Service Commission, 463 U.S. 582 (1983); Regents of the University of California v Bakke, 438 U.S. 265 (1978).(6) Thus, one may assume that Title VI protections are not limited to citizens.
Related to the scope of coverage of Title VI is the issue of standing to challenge program operations as a violation of Title VI. Individuals may bring a cause of action under Title VI if they are excluded from participation in, denied the benefits of, or subjected to discrimination under, any Federal assistance program. See Coalition of Bedford-Stuyvesant Block Association, Inc. v. Cuomo, 651 F. Supp. 1202, 1209 n.2 (E.D.N.Y. 1987; Bryant v. New Jersey Department of Transportation, 1998 WL 133758 (D.N.J.).
 
 XII. Private Right of Action and Individual Relief through Agency Action
The Supreme Court has established that individuals have an implied private right of action under Title IX (and Title VI and Section 504). The most common form of relief sought and obtained is an injunction ordering a recipient to do something. See Cannon v. University of Chicago, 441 U.S. 677 (1979). (70) Seealso, United States v. Baylor University Medical Center, supra, in which the court ordered termination of funds. The Supreme Court also has held that individuals may obtain monetary damages for claims of intentional discrimination under Title IX. See Franklin, supra, 503 U.S. at 75 n.8. (71) As discussed below, agencies are encouraged to identify and seek the full complement of relief for complainants and identified victims, where appropriate, as part of voluntary settlements, including, where appropriate, not only the obvious remedy of back pay for certain employment discrimination cases, but also compensatory damages for violations in a nonemployment context. Agencies are also asked to recommend the scope of relief to be sought in referrals of matters to the Department of Justice for judicial enforcement.
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If used properly, OFW is one of the most effective tools a parent sharing custody with a high-conflict person (HCP) and/or an abusive personality-disordered individual (APDI, e.g., Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, etc.) can have at his or her disposal.

http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/04/08/ourfamilywizard-an-excellent-tool-for-co-parenting-with-a-high-conflict-person-part-1/



http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/04/26/family-court-minefields-dirty-tricks-used-by-high-conflict-people-in-custody-disputes-and-parallel-parenting-part-1/

OurFamilyWizard is quickly becoming a routine requirement in many Family Court systems in the US and Canada because it reduces the he said-she said arguments that are typical of high-conflict custody cases. OFW is an objective third party system that can and will be used against you in a court of law. It can be used to demonstrate your ability to co-parent with a HCP as a co-parent (no small feat) and it can also demonstrate that the HCP cannot co-parent. In a perfect world in which neither parent is a HCP, OFW demonstrates you both can co-parent. Think of OFW as your living “continuing record” and/or your “continuing affidavit.”
Before You Enroll in the OurFamilyWizard Program
Before you enroll in the OurFamilyWizard program, you need to obtain an agreement in writing from your ex to use the program. There are 3 ways to do this:
  1. As part of a Court Order;
  2. As an agreement between your attorneys or solicitors; and
  3. As an agreement between you and your ex that’s documented in writing. If your ex refuses to use OFW;
  4. You refuse to use anything other than OFW to communicate and send your messages, schedule updates, etc., through the system and enter her emails, texts and voicemails into OFW


How OurFamilyWizard Can Help You
If used diligently and correctly, you can neutralize many of your ex’s high-conflict behaviors fairly quickly. Anecdotal evidence suggests it takes approximately three attempts by the HCP to try to get around the OFW system before they begin behaving better. The threat of having their lies, antics, aggressions and manipulations exposed seems to greatly dis-incentivize their high-conflict and abusive behavior. However, this largely depends upon how consistent you are in using the system, how well you use the system and how well you maintain your boundaries.
Here are some potential benefits of using OurFamilyWizard:
1. Instant accountability. OFW can be used as a tool to hold the high-conflict parent accountable down to the most-minute detail. All communications, including emails and texts, go through the OFW system. If your HCP ex tries to go around the system by using outside forms of communication, you can upload texts, emails and mp3s of abusive voicemails into the system with specific notations that your ex has been communicating outside of OFW. This becomes even more effective when you email or text your ex through OFW to politely ask that they please communicate via OFW in future communications. If the HCP continues to refuse to use the program, it demonstrates that they ignore agreements and court orders. This should help you establish a pattern of bad co-parenting behavior.
2. Minimize lying and game playing. Everything you do within the system is documented, including text messages sent to and from your phone. Every communication, every message, every photo upload, every private and public journal entry, every schedule and calendar entry and update, every SMS text is time stamped and is impossible to backdate. The time stamp is determined and held by the OFW server.

Additionally, when either of you reads an email, text, journal entry or calendar update, etc., you each receive a time-stamped alert notifying you that your communication has been read. This means your HCP ex can’t play games about not receiving messages or claim that they emailed requests/messages to you on fictitious dates. Not opening parenting communications and/or not responding in a timely manner can be damning for the HCP. In the eyes of many judges, a negative reply to your message is better than no reply and/or not opening your messages at all. Ignoring your communications shows a lack of interest in co-parenting with you and an utter disregard for the children’s welfare.
Alternatively, HCPs who use OFW to bombard you with hostile or irrelevant messages will establish a pattern of harassing behavior. I’ll address how to manage this kind of behavior using OFW in Part 3 of this series.
3. Demonstrate the HCP’s unwillingness and/or inability to co-parent. If your HCP ex refuses to use the system, tries to get around it and/or abuses the system, their own behavior becomes evidence that you can take back to the judge of their unwillingness and/or inability to co-parent with you. As mentioned earlier, think of OFW as a running affidavit. This is especially handy in states that don’t allow one-way party recording.
If Children’s Aid Society (CAS; Canada) or Children’s Protective Services (CPS; US) are involved in your custody case, OFW can be extremely valuable. The communication logs can be used to demonstrate their bad co-parenting behaviors and even their attempts at parental alienation (more on this in Part 3).
Here’s a real life example: My client’s ex made false claims about him to CAS. Fortunately, they were using OFW. He gave CAS his entire log of OFW communications and the results were incredible. CAS reviewed his log before interviewing his ex, but she wasn’t aware CAS would do so. Then, in typical HCP fashion, she lied about the dates of events, claimed she had the children on dates when they were in my client’s care and lied about her responses to my client. CAS exposed her lies and then filed a report against her! It’s highly likely that my client will now receive primary custody.
4. Minimize conflict and increase co-parenting transparency. Many high-conflict parents try to control the other parent (and the children) by withholding information, giving limited information, giving conflicting or false information, withholding information until after an event or appointment has passed and/or withholding information until the last minute. OFW nips this HCP behavior in the bud by providing both a calendar and public journal.
With OFW, you can document requests for visitation schedule changes well in advance. These requests then go to the other parent for approval/disapproval and vice versa. This cuts down on the games many HCPs play around requesting “emergency” schedule changes and or lies such as, “I told you; you just don’t remember because you never listen to me!” Simply put, if the HCP doesn’t impute the information into OFW, you can’t be expected to know about it. Therefore, the burden is on them to use the calendar or be held accountable for not doing so.
If your ex insists on blurting out childcare information at pick-ups and drop-offs, send them an email or text stating, “At the custody exchange, you said Jake has a doctor’s appointment on Thursday Apr 27 at 11 am for x, y, z. Please confirm that this information is correct. In the future, please remember to enter this kind of info into OFW.” The goal is to shrink the HCP’s ability to misbehave and you do it via brief, but meticulous documentation.
Receipts for childcare costs can also be imputed into the system. You can even pay for childcare items by linking OFW to your bank. This means the HCP can’t claim they didn’t receive money that you’ve already paid, make up childcare costs and/or inflate the amount of money they spent. If they don’t enter a receipt; you don’t pay.
5. Reduce costs. Using OFW can significantly reduce your custody case costs. Most HCPs are so toxic that communication becomes impossible, which necessitates that you communicate through your attorneys and/or parent coordinators. Once attorneys and/or coordinators act as your co-parenting intermediaries, your already high legal costs can really skyrocket. OFW explains:
For parents engaged in a high conflict parenting relationship, a typical change to the parenting plan schedule because of a work related trip can end up costing a family hundreds of dollars. The phone chain becomes expensive very quickly when mom calls her attorney, who then calls dad’s attorney, who then calls dad. Dad has to make a decision based on the request and send the response back through the attorneys to Mom. The legal fees can be thousands of dollars if alternative proposals have to work their way through the attorneys.
OFW costs approximately $200 USD per year for both parents. This very well may be the wisest money you spend during your divorce and custody case.
6. Level the playing field. HCPs thrive in high-conflict environments that are toxic to most people. Therefore, many of their behaviors are calculated to increase the conflict in any situation because it gives them the advantage. The more conflict, drama and chaos they can stir up, the more calm they typically appear. Equanimity isn’t the HCP’s natural habitat.
They only appear calm and stable when they’re able to stir up a crisis and/or provoke you into reacting. If you allow them to do so, they then sit back and smirk, while you seem like the crazy high-conflict parent in comparison. OFW can help you expose the HCP’s machinations that provoke others into responding negatively and with hostility to them, which means they can no longer portray themselves as innocent little victims.
OFW allows you to manage your ex’s attempts to needlessly inject conflict by documenting their behaviors and holding them accountable. They will lose a great deal of their ability to create conflict, which gives you the advantage. What’s your advantage? You will have basically wrangled them into behaving like a mature and responsible adult, otherwise, their behaviors will be exposed and they’ll finally have to pay the consequences for they’re high-conflict and abusive behaviors. Additionally, you will no longer have to continually play reactive defense. OFW can put you on tactical offense. It’s the difference between being reactive and proactive; and, as they say, the best defense is a good offense—especially for the non-HCP.
If you can maintain boundaries, remain unflappable in response to their button pushing and other manipulations, and expose their high-conflict behavior for what it is, they’ll become destabilized and both you and the children benefit. The only person who benefits from being in a constant state of conflict is the HCP. OFW can help you defuse and contain your HCP ex.
OurFamilyWizard, Parts 1 and 2
In a few days, I’ll post the second and third articles in this series. Part 2 will address the most common reasons (i.e., lame excuses) HCPs employ to avoid participating in OFW and your counter-arguments for using the service. Part 3 will examine the different OFW features and functions and how to maximize them to your advantage.



Links
Learn more about how you can end abuse in your homes, your neighborhoods, across the country and around the world by visiting the sites listed below. A listing among the links does not constitute an endorsement from the Futures Without Violence.


http://www.dir.ct.gov/dcf/policy/court46/46-4-3.htm

DCF Assessment
Rights & Duties
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Friday, January 3, 2014


From what color paper to use to how one phrases a letter to a headhunter, this book contains everything you'll ever need to know about executive presentations:
  • How long is too long?
  • What kind of resume goes in a business proposal?
  • What three things does a headhunter check first?
  • When will you need a narrative biography?
  • What stylistic techniques will keep the reader focused on your skill, not your age?
  • What's different about resumes on the West Coast as compared to the East Coast?
And it's packed with detailed information on:
  • Standard Executive Resumes (how to beat 1,000-to-1 odds)
  • Headhunter Resumes (how they present candidates)
  • Curricula Vitae (for academic and medical professionals)
  • Principal and Company Profiles (for officers and entrepreneurs)
  • Salary Histories (position yourself to win in negotiations)
Plus sections on special problems: overqualified, too old, laid off or demoted, no education, job hopping, date gaps, too long with one employer, employer involved in scandal, dead industry, and so on.
If you are an executive in transition, this is one book



Bibliographic information

QR code for Asher's Bible of Executive Résumés and how to Write Them


TitleAsher's Bible of Executive Résumés and how to Write Them
AuthorDonald Asher
PublisherTen Speed Press, 1997
ISBN0898158567, 9780898158564
Length554 pages
Subjects
 ›   › 

Business & Economics / Careers / Resumes
  

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Get Off The Couch! In This Economy, It Could Kill You -  In order to make money, you need to get off the couch and learn a few new tricks. It’s a proven fact that there comes a moment after people have suffered long enough that they become willing to try something new and different, just to quiet the noise in their head. In hindsight, many people report that the changes they were forced to make turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to them. This ‘darkest before dawn’ theme is common throughout history, and it is during these times when fortunes are made and new dynasties are begun. It takes energy to come up with a new money-making idea, but once the idea has legs and takes form, it becomes exciting and creates all the energy necessary for success. All entrepreneurs will tell you that new ventures feed upon themselves and create a life-force of their own. It’s exciting; I call it ‘the ride up,’ when a new idea takes off and it’s all blue skies with boundless horizons. It’s even addictive, seductive and often very rewarding. The trick is to find an idea that works in order for an entrepreneur to be inspired long enough to dedicate a few hours a day to birth and grow a new business into a money-making machine.  MORE >>>


Articles On Overseas Teaching Jobs  -  Articles on teaching jobs overseas - where to find them, written by those who have found them. There may be courses in college that teach you to live overseas but it's doubtful; and if there is, it isn't the same as living there... the majority of these articles are written by a person much like yourself who is living & working overseas. QUOTE: "After all this, what does college life look like in a Latin American backwater like Colima? In terms of enjoying yourselves and nightlife, that sort of thing boils down to four or five discos in Colima. Even during my more naive and innocent days as a student discos never deserved to be called my cup of tea. But that’s a matter of taste. For good measure, we may chuck in a few good restaurants, nice cafes and cinemas. But as far as nightlife goes, that’s it more or less for students and everbody else in Colima. Finally, we may include the Mexican obsession table dancing. I can’t recall how often students have asked me already to go with them to table dancing. My response is always the same:”I only go to table dancing if you’re sister dances on the table”.

Reference Articles For Overseas Jobs  -  This library is filled with facts, contacts, suggestions, inside information & offshore information, artist havens & tax havens . . .  Articles On Living & Working Overseas, Unique Jobs Overseas, Adventure Jobs Overseas, International Employment of many varieties in a variety of nations. We sincerely hope you make your escape and that you find your Shangri La, or your Shangri Lil ... and that special place in the world that sets your heart on fire...    We're willing to show you the routes - If you want to live& work overseas you need facts. QUOTE:  "Job Seeking Blues - Finding Work In Taiwan - Finding Work In Taiwan ~ by Daniel Wallace - I was in the park with a friend one night, and he explained all his blues. "So, I was teaching in Japan, thinking about flying home, then I get this email from a school in Taiwan. They say they'll pay me 60,000 a month, a free scooter, a free apartment, a free hotel when I arrive and I don't have to sign a contract until I've seen the school. So, I come to Taiwan, and at the airport, the manager is standing there and she wants me to sign the contract before she can drive me to the hotel."

International Volunteer Work  -  EscapeArtist.com endeavors to maintain links on this page that benefit those seeking volunteer work overseas, and indeed there are some great links on this page leading to great websites that may have exactly the thing you are looking for. There are many good people out there doing positive things. Doing volunteer work overseas is among the best ways to make a positive contribution to the world. It also puts you in touch with the world in a way that is totally unique. You can learn more in one year of working overseas as a volunteer than in five years of public education.  Volunteering is generally considered an altruistic activity, intended to promote good or improve human quality of life, but people also volunteer for their own skill development, to meet others, to make contacts for possible employment, to have fun, and a variety of other reasons that could be considered self-serving. Volunteerism is the act of selflessly giving your life to something you believe free of pay. Although if a person volunteers they may not earn money, it produces a feeling of self-worth and volunteers earn respect and Favors instead of money.


Offshore Telecommuting  - How to Avoid Taxes and Live the Life of your Dreams- Go where want, whether in be Paris, Rome, or Rio de Janeiro - set yourself up with some home office equipment and stay as long as you want.. Yes, now you can live your life where you want to be, rather than be bogged down in one of Americas urban war zones - The same goes for fleeing the UK with its over-crowded streets, escalating prices and growing crime problems.
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